Monday, September 21, 2009

a really really bad day....

September 21...

OOOOOOHHHHHHH...... i was robbed by 2 guys early in the morning and my money and cellphone got from me.... huhuhuhu... i cried....

But i believed God has something much better than that....

its a lonely night....

September 18, after my work, i went to RITM to attend Ate Anna's birthday party, dinatnan ko dun a lot of persons na i know mga pusit din, we about more 20 that time there but onti onti naring nagsisiuwian kasihapon na po at umaga pa sila dun.

i saw cute guy and he is with another cute guy that had fever due to the medicine that he takes... and this 2 cute guy become my friend na rin....

around 6pm ng ala na taong naiwan kundi kami nalang nila ate anna at ilang pusit, one pusit caught my attention coz he's tall, slim, and cute na rin po... he is doing something s pc kaya siguro di ko agad siya napansin at ng magpatogtog cya dun, nagkaron kami ng chance na magsayawan kahit papano at grabe ang galing nya sumayaw at take not cute talaga cya ng makita ko sa malapitan... Umuwi kami ng naglalakad simula RITM until metropolis... grabe ang layo pero ang saya due to some jokes and okrayan ng mga bading na kasam namin that time...

when i reached home, i decided to ask some of my friend to what will they do if they found me out that i am sick and dying? of course they shock and only LOLA LDM had a time to check my status talaga and i feel her sincerity that time. although cyempre ung iba kung friend ayaw maniwala and ung iba naman tanung ng tanung pero di mo ma feel kung sincere ba sila...

Siguro, kung iipunin ko ang luha ko that day umabot ito ng isang tabo... syempre im alone pero ala ka magawa kundi um,iyak nalang kaya ganun...

hay....

but in the end, i decided to be positive... like what ive said before life must go on....

another one....

September 17, ohhh... its my CBC day, i went early in the morninh to RITM to have my cbc and to tambay there coz Dr. Ditangco will be there ng 2pm pa daw, so Ate Anna advised me agad to go to laboratory for my cbc after that as usual tambay me sa waiting area namin which is our home... dinatnan ko dun si Ate Ellen at si Ate Lyn, Nagkwentuhan kami ng nagkwentuhan when somebody arrived....,he is pusit to and he is so cute.... at first i thought he is suplado but di pala and we become friend... we spend chatting to someone and talking and ralking about Kimmy Dora, he already watched it na kasi and we laugh and laugh a lot. hahahahahahahaha....

i've watched also in my life that night... nakakaiyak at nakakainlove ang character nila pero nakakabitin ang kwento...

scheduling period...

August 20, it's my schedule to Dr. Ditangco for my counselling but unfortunatelly di siya nakarating dahil sa meeting na pinuntahan nya, instead a round doctor counselled me and Ate Anna gave me a ARV for start of my ARV schedule. Sinabihan ako ni Ate Anna na if ever after kung inumin ang mga gamot at magkaron ako ng rashes or lagnat ay stop ang inom ng neverapine. 2 weeks past i didnt experience anything unless sometimes i feel hot, na parang lalagnatin but di naman tumutuloy ang lagnat ko.

August 23, i and my friends in jollibee ( since 2000 ) get together at Neth house in Dayap, Masapang, Victoria, Laguna. I had a great time cause i saw again my old friends like Neth, Cute, Charise, Tolits and of course Bryan.... and also William ( Neth's Husband ). Nung lang uli kami nagkita ni bryan after so many years....

August 31, its a holiday, early in the morning i called these guys to kita kits uli kami sa SM Sta. Rosa but Neth and Charise cant come due to some priorities that they need to seetle first. Again, a great time happened for mme and i hope for them to, i had a wonderful lunch with Kenneth a new friend of mine. He is one of Mam Kathy's Crew in greenwich, He's so cute but sometimes bading ang dating kaya nakaka T.O.

September 1, At last my 30th birthday, Its my 1st positive birthday, this day i plan to celebrate my birthday sa luneta or sa intramuros with a street children or at least 1 family, i plabhbed to buy food for them. 8am i was in Buendia na to wait ritchie to come but hellooooo..... dumating cya ng 11am na po at gutom na gutom na po kami nun. We decided na sa UN Statiuon na kami kumain para malapit na kami sa target area namin, we eat at the jollibee again and walk around the area, it is lunch time at ang init kaya ala kami nakitang target person until we reached the intramuros and nagpahinga muna kami ng Manila Cathedral before we went to Divisoria. Around 3pm na ng bumalik kami sa Luneta at Thanks God ang dami ng tao but ala ako makitang mga bata o any family. Ang nakita lang namin ay ilang old persons, i talk to them 1 by 1 ang give a food ( Jollibee product again ) to them. Lot of reason why they are live on that area, a different reason that if you gonna think of it, theres a lot of ways to resolve but who am i to judge them, anyway, alot of things happened on this day until we decided to go home and we saw a 2 cute guys kissing each other, at first they have a quarrel but in the end love wins to thier fellings. hehehehe and cute noh nakakainggit...

September 3, i extended my leave to my schedule to Dr. Ditangco, and this day at last we met and i have a time to talk to her na.... a lot of things to know and lot of things we discuss but at the end all of this came in me a new knowledge about my situation and about my status... but on the other side, i feel but coz due to the text thatr i recieved... anyway i dont want to illaborate that text it's non sense naman din in the end.

September 4 -15 a long days of work without any rest day....

September 16, i was dead schedule to metBryan again, it was schedule by 4pm but he texted me early if possible to make it 6pm and guess what time he arrived? 7pm... hello... i've been in the meeting place by 5:30pm.... but that long time erase when i saw his smile and i feel his presence... i informed neth that me and bryan will having a date and she inggit to the max especially when she know that were going to watch movie KIMMY DORA... Sobra nakakatawa cya... to the max grabe but of cousr ang nakakapagpasaya kasi ay ung kasama ko ang taong special sa buhay ko. Kung pwede lang pigilin ang oras e di baka pinigil ko lahat iyon... When pauwi na kami, i drop him in robinsons for him to easy to ride a bvus going to cainta and while on my way home and his way to we continue talking on the phone and i expressed again my feelings to him, he accept all that such things but he said dont expect in return from him coz he already married na po and i told him that i know naman my limitations... That day comes another memorable day to me with opf course bryan...

Sunday, September 20, 2009

new family found...

after a year of denial stage now, i can say i found a new family in my status now as an HIV positive carrier... and the story began...

http://backinthecloset.blogspot.com/2009/04/think-positive-part-1.html

It was April 2009 when i've what the GMA 7 show "THINK POSITIVE". I have learned many things on that documentary and that month also when i have try to look someone who can help me up about my situation and i found my friend now. He is "back in the closet" blogger. We became chatmate and continue chatting each other. And it was July 18 when we finally sched our first meeting. Call stime is 11am at the megamall, when i was preparing myself, i was confused or denying to go to met him but the positive side of my being good person won and finally we met and had a lunch at Max's Megamall... i had a great lunch with him talking anything about our situation, what would it be, what will be and where are we.... but its not end there...

August 4, when i was finally decided to have myt check up at RITM with him, we met at the MRT Ayala Station and we ride abus going to Alabang. While in the bus my sister called me as she is sumbong my brother and my sister on what they are doing and what their plans about out family problem, i was also left in the bus alone while back in the closet drop off in the non loading area.... He just wait for me and finally we reach the place that i consider as my crematory but soon i found out that my new home, new friend, new companion and new family.

life must go on...
since childhood i know that i am different from the real man's world but i always deny it sometimes it may cause of an argument with me and my family... and finally i accept the the fact that i am a gay....

in line with this, i did something that people always wanted me to be specially in time of flesh calls...and now, i admit that i also had a virus that anyone dont want to have. i was diagnose HIV virus carrier last september 2008.

until now im still searching for the people that i can lean on... i didnt inform anybody about my situation even my immediate family...

is there somebody can help me???

please...